"but I guess, when you're a romantic, every spoken word sounds like magic...
and everything you have ever said to me HAS cast a spell...
it's like someone wrote you a script of what to say to me to completely capture my heart...
and the poet who was born to woo me, gave you his rhymes and lyrics,
but what you said to me was lost when you clutched her hand and whispered in her ear...
and then turned and smiled at me
and wished me the sweetest dreams...
not caring that you were my dream..."
Did you write this?
ReplyDeleteyea, i wrote it last night.
ReplyDeleteno more thoughts than that?
ReplyDeleteI like it, and it's obviously emotionally driven, which "all poetry is the spontaneous overflow of strong emotion" (Wordsworth).
ReplyDeleteI think it could use with a little editing here and there. I don't like the "it's like" qualification, I'd rather you just said "It IS."
I really like the phrase "the poet who was born to woo me."
How about: "It's as if someone wrote you a script...."?
ReplyDeleteYeah. That's stronger. Although I think it would be even more forceful if you just said "Someone wrote you a script..."
ReplyDeleteThe idea is that I'm realizing this as I'm saying it, and if I went out and just said "someone wrote you a script" then the idea would change to me telling the person off......and i don't want to do that. it's more of a nonchalant ironic realization.
ReplyDeleteWell then, "It's as if..." works better than for that idea.
ReplyDelete